Twelve-Point

[I’ve been lax on keeping up with Chuck Wendig’s writing challenges the last couple weeks, but this one really grabbed my mind and didn’t let go. The challenge was this: write a complete story with beginning, middle, and end in three sentences. What follows is my effort.]

A rustle of bushes, a crackle of leaves, and the buck appeared, full of grace and power, antlers reaching like prayers toward heaven.

Don’s breath caught in his throat, and his dead father’s voice echoed in his mind, screaming at him to take the shot, the trigger under his finger as cold and immovable as love long lost.

And after a while, the buck passed on.

[It looks simple, but when you’ve got such a tiny tiny story, you have to spend a lot of time making sure every word is exactly right. I’d encourage all of you to try your hand at this. Give it your best shot, and then go read what everyone else is doing.]

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6 responses to “Twelve-Point

  1. That was . . awesome.

    At first I was thinking, “Yes, the buck was spared!” but then I re-read it and . . ??

    And “buck passed” is such a rich phrase- great story. 🙂

  2. clever…good job. It reminds me of my dad (God rest his soul) and his brothers (God rest their souls) who went hunting for deer every November when i was a kid.

  3. Did you see blogdramedy’s 30 words/ 30 days fiction challenge?

    I’m a spectator, that’s SHORT!

    BTW, screaming wouldn’t work so well in the woods but apart from that, excellent. Truly.

  4. Yeah, screaming absolutely wouldn’t work while hunting. I imagined the dead father as a blood-lust-crazed psychopath who was pushed past the brink by his son’s hesitance.

  5. He’s not REAL guys. Just a memory in Don’s head constantly reminding him of his faults.

  6. Very well done!! You truly painted a picture with few words; you chose wisely.

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