Final Impressions

One of these days I am going to die.  It’s a sad reality, and I’m not the kind to dwell on it, at least not any more, but it’s something we all have to face.  But I am going to say this, and I am going to say it only once: If anyone puts an “I Roll in Memory of Albert Berg” sticker in the back window of their car/truck/whatever I will personally start the zombie uprising from beyond the grave.  Your brain will be the first on our zombie menu of delicacies.

Every time I see one of these things I think, “Really?  That’s the legacy you think that person wanted?  A trite message written in peeling letters on the back of your Hyundai?”

If you want to honor me how about a nice gravestone with the inscription “All That You Love Will Be Carried Away” in Copperplate Gothic Light font.  Either that or “Eadem Mutata Resurgo” under a nautilus spiral.  Either one would be equally cool.

And speaking of which, whatever happened to gravestone inscriptions anyway?  All I see when I walk through the cemeteries these days is a name and two dates.  If you’re going to be dead you might as well make your final resting place at least a little epic.  When someone looks at my headstone I want them to think, “Now that must have been an interesting dude.”

Addendum: A quick Google search of the phrase “I roll in memory of” produced no relevant hits. Is this a local thing? Because I see it all the time when I’m driving. Man, now I feel bad for living in such a dump of a town.