Christmas in Crisis: Naughty Children on the Rise, Pole Workers Say

Children may be dreaming of a white Christmas, but this year more of them will be seeing black.  As in coal.  According to the North Poll audits of naughty and nice records this year the number of good children decreased by seven percent.

“It’s the third year in a row we’ve seen a decline in the nice category”, explained Sebastien Crager of the North Poll Naughty and Nice tracking division. “Its kind of sad really”.

Crager isn’t the only one dismayed by the increasing demographic of naughty children.

Montesquieu Rook head of the Elf union said, “We’ve just seen a drop off in the demand for toys. It’s not just this year. It’s been ongoing.”

Many experts point to the rise of violent video games as the source of the decline in the number of nice children, while others cite the 1997 revision of the naughty and nice requirements. “Doing something good isn’t good enough anymore,” Crager said. “The new rules look at things like attitude and intent. Under the old system a good deed was a good deed regardless.”

Whatever the cause, the falling demand for toys at Christmas has many elves concerned about the future of the North Pole toy plant. “There just isn’t enough demand for toys anymore. We’ve been hearing about the possibilities of layoffs or worse still, outsourcing the work to China.”

The outlook is not so bleak for everyone however. Charlie Concraine of the North Pole Coal Miners Union was optimistic about the prospect of more children receiving the ubiquitous black lumps in their stockings. “Its great news for us. We’re working around the clock to meet the demand for coal. Business is good. We’ve been looking into branching out into creating specialized lumps of coal customized for each individual naughty child.” he said.

Meanwhile the Clause administration has remained relatively silent on the issue, although Santa briefly alluded to the crisis in his recent speech to the Guild of Reindeer Herders saying “Our economy faces new challenges every year, yet I am confident that we will meet these challenges and overcome them.”

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One response to “Christmas in Crisis: Naughty Children on the Rise, Pole Workers Say

  1. This made me laugh. Nicely done!

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