Tragedy struck downtown yesterday when a well loved, seasonally popular figure was involved in a fatal accident. Witnesses at the scene say Frosty T. Snowman was run down by a car after he failed to heed the warning of the policeman directing traffic at the intersection of 4th and Main.
“I saw him coming and yelled for him to stop,” Travis Compton, the policeman at the scene, said, “but he only paused for a second and then ran straight out into the street. The guy in the car, well he tried to stop, but what with all the warming recently the roads were slushy, and he just couldn’t brake in time.”
Several children are now said to be in grief counseling after having witnessed the gory aftermath of the accident.
When asked about why Mr. Snowman acted so recklessly, Compton said, “Well, I can’t say for sure, you know? But I think maybe he knew he was coming to the end of his life, what with this heat wave and all, and maybe he thought he could afford to take that risk. But, you know, that’s never the answer.”