You know what’s wrong with this picture? Absolutely nothing, that’s what. Okay, maybe the guy hanging out the door of the plane is a bit much, but everything else is awesome. Of course the problem is, you know the movie isn’t going to live up to the cover. Chances are, it’s not even going to come close.
This is a shame, because when I see this graphic it evokes all kinds of cool stuff in my head. I see this and I think, “I could totally write a story about this picture.” The black ethereal tentacles coming at the small plane from off screen evoke a massive flying beast, a supernatural force manifested in the storm darkened skies. The plane itself looks so small in comparison, like a child’s toy being menaced by an intelligence and power of horrifying proportions. And…yeah, the guy hanging out of the door looks kinda silly.
But I’ve read the reviews of this stink-bomb, and the best of them were lukewarm while the worst were violently negative. The awesome movie evoked by the picture just doesn’t exist in the real world.
I should be used to this by now. It’s not like advertisements usually live up to anything approaching reality. For instance, I’ve used Axe Body Spray more than once or twice, but on each occasion beautiful women completely failed to throw themselves at me as the commercials suggested they would. I was not surprised in the slightest by this.
But there’s something about narratives like books and movies that’s different. You see an awesome poster or a stunning trailer and instantly you’ve got a tiny, ideal version of the movie stuck in your head. The problem is that its almost never as good as the movie they actually made. The same goes for books, though they don’t usually have trailers.
We know this. We’ve experienced the disappointment over and over. And yet, somehow we still managed to be sucked in time after time. We think, “This time will be different. This time the movie I’m about to see will be every bit as awesome as my expectations.” We do it over and over and time and time again we’re disappointed. But if we’re lucky every once in a blue moon a movie will come along that truly does live up to its advertising. Which is a whole lot more than I can say for Axe Body Spray.