I wasn’t very popular in high-school. Given that my schooling beforehand had been done at home I lacked many of the social graces required to fit in or, at the very least, to remain invisible in the high-school culture. I’m pretty sure, I got off on the wrong foot the very first week, and I hopped on that very same foot for the next four years. I wasn’t accepted by the society I had been plunged into, and I began to develop a hatred for all those who participated in my rejection. I had dreams that one day I would eventually be wildly successful, that I would stumble upon them some time later and find that their lives had fallen into ruin and disrepair, and I would have the last laugh. I’m pretty sure it’s a dream every socially awkward kid has had at one point or another, and for years after high-school was over I held on to that dream of ultimate revenge.
As time passed, it turned out that I did not become wildly successful. That isn’t to say that my life is a failure by any means, but I’m certainly in no position to gloat over others. And last week I finally realized that I don’t need to.
Last week I met one of those people I knew in high-school, one of the ones who I had resented for not accepting me as I was, and I was shocked to find that I simply didn’t care any more. It wasn’t that I had built myself up so high in life that I could look down with a proud and haughty face and say “You ridiculed me all those years, but look at me now! Now I don’t need your friendship!” I was simply that I had learned to be content with my life as it was. I no longer have to measure myself against my former peers, or, for that matter my current peers. I am happy as I am. I can rejoice with those who have managed to find the same happiness and contentment, and I can try to help those who have not, no matter who they may be.
It is a strange thing to realize, that the ultimate revenge a man can have isn’t truly revenge at all, but rather to be happy within himself regardless of those who have wronged him. I thank my God I have found that sweet contentment.
The Mulch Pile
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