The Value of Value

You know what word I hate?

“Value.”

I mean I know I’m not supposed to despise words for what they are, but…really? Could it BE any more vague. I mean I’m walking in the store, and my wife pulls a can of chili off the shelf and says, ”These are a great value.”

And I say, ”Well then maybe we should get the other ones.” And when she asks me what I’m talking about I say, ”Well maybe they’re a lower value. We don’t want to have to pay a greater value than we have to.” And then she hits me up side of the head with her purse because she’s sick of being shoehorned into my jokes with clunky unrealistic dialog just so I can make a point.

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But seriously, it’s everywhere. You’ll be in the store and you’ll see a sign that says ”Books at a Value.” And if you’re me you think, ”OF COURSE THEY’RE AT A VALUE! EVERYTHING IN THE STORE IS AT A VALUE. IF IT WASN’T AT A VALUE HOW WOULD PEOPLE KNOW HOW MUCH TO PAY?”

I am perfectly aware, that what they really mean is, ”These Books are on Sale,” but I’m going to go on being annoyed by it. I know it’s inconsistent. I know I’ve sung the praises of the drescriptivist linguistic school on more than one occasion, and I know that I should be willing to accept a word for how it’s used, and not how I think it should be used. I know all that. But it STILL bugs me.

And don’t even get me started on people who have values.

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Okay really, I was hoping you’d get me started. ”Don’t even get me started” that’s just a figure of speech. It doesn’t have to mean…

Oh, yes I see your point. In fact I think the hypocrite alert is going off down the hall. Better go turn that off.

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By the by, yesterday I sat down and chatted with Evelyn Lafont about writing and self-publishing my book A Prairie Home Apocalypse or: What the Dog Saw. If that sounds like maybe the kind of thing you would like to read, you should totally check it out.

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“X and I”

Recently I heard someone say something along the lines of “Tell her to meet Dave and I by the front of the store.”  It’s not the first time I’ve heard this mistake.  It’s caught my attention on several reality TV shows I like and it seems as if it’s becoming more and more common.  But what interests me is the reason I believe it’s becoming more common.

The blame lies squarely at the feet of prescriptivist linguists (affectionately known to some as Grammar Nazis) who have gone around for decades chiding people saying “Don’t say Dave and me are going to the movies.  The correct phrase is, Dave and I are going to the movies.”

Of course the prescriptivists are correct in pointing out that it is technically incorrect to use the objective phrase “X and me” as a subject, but the problem is that, instead of teaching people the correct rules of usage they’ve left people with the impression that “X and I” is more proper than “X and me” in all cases.

I think part of the problem lies in the enforcement of the rules of written language in the context of spoken language.  Whether or not you think it is proper to end a written sentence with a preposition, it is never proper to correct a spoken sentence that ends that way.  The same goes for most of the rules of written grammar.  Speaking and writing are not the same thing.  I know that seems obvious, but I wonder how much confusion and general snobbery could be avoided if English teachers pointed out the differences between speaking and writing more frequently.  The linguistic rules in our heads are soft and gooey and they don’t always match up exactly with the sharp, adamantine rules in our English textbooks.  The simple truth is, people speak differently than they write.  And I for one am fine with that.