Author Interview: Evelyn Lafont

[Back in the olden days of early last year when I was new to Twitter, I crossed paths with many an author, but few which stuck in my mind so well as Evelyn Lafont. I'd say it was because her writing blog was one of the few I was reading back then that took a more cynical and realistic approach to the world of writing, but in reality it probably had more to do with the fact that her Twitter handle was @KeyboardHussy. She's been mostly off Twitter for a while, but she pops her head up every once in a while, and she was gracious enough to answer a few questions for me.]

I’ve noticed that there seems to a kind of aversion to mid-length fiction in the traditional publishing world, and yet all of your Vampire Relationship Guide books are novellas, and you seem to be doing rather well with them. What’s the deal here? Is mid-length fiction fundamentally more difficult to sell, or is that paradigm dying as ereaders grow in prominence?

I wish that I was enough of an authority to actually answer this question for you. I write the kind of books that I want to read. If I want to read short, serial and mid-length fiction, I can’t be the only one, right?

I’m interested in your approach to your Vampire Relationship Guide books. How difficult is it to write a vampire romance that pokes fun at the genre, but still appeals to fans of the source material, AND stands up on its own as a story?

The way that I approached it was to make fun of a genre that I happen to enjoy. I think a different thing happens when a writer mocks a genre that he hates or thinks less off. There is a superiority, lack of respect and lack of understanding that shines through and makes the reading experience unpleasant for those who do like the genre, and that means his actual audience is people who hate the genre and frankly, that’s a harder sell.

Also, I work to put boundaries around my poking. I wanted to explore the practicalities of a human having a relationship with a vampire and make it more uncomfortably real than other books in the genre, but I wanted to also have a real, true love story at the core.

A while back you made a pretty bold decision to stop tweeting and blogging as a writer. Can you talk a little about what prompted you to back off from social media, and how that has worked out for you?

It’s hard to answer this question without coming off like a witch, but Imma try. Okay, so I’ve been sitting here in silence for about 10 minutes trying to think about ways to be diplomatic. I can’t, so here goes. Social media takes up too much time and for me, is very draining. In my freelance career, I’ve used social media, blogging and other Internet marketing tools to great success. In fiction it’s … different. I assumed, in the beginning, that my developed skills would translate from freelance to fiction, but I was wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong. I can’t have that level of energy drainage and still keep up with all my other obligations, especially when the amount of books that Twitter actually helped me move was, like, a venti cappuccino’s worth.

I do still blog on EvelynLafont.com, but I don’t generally talk about writing or issues that affect writers.

Who do you favor in the battle for supernatural domination? Vampires, or Rage Virus-Infected Cyborg Elephants?

I favor whoever’s winning and my loyalties can shift as quickly as Mario Andretti. (I really hope he drove a stick shift, or that joke won’t make any damn sense.)

In the wake of Twilight it seems there has been a huge increase in both the demand and supply of supernatural romance books. What, if anything, do you think this fascination with “superhuman as romantic interest” says about us as a culture?

I think it says that we enjoy easy answers and we don’t enjoy that life is temporary.

You get one wish. You can fundamentally alter reality in any way you please. What is it?

No way. Uh-uh. I saw that episode of Twilight Zone and it doesn’t end well.

You work as a freelance writer in addition to writing romance fiction. How difficult is it to separate writing for work and writing for yourself?

I don’t know that it’s difficult so much as tiring. The average freelancing day for me involves anywhere from 1,500 to 3,000 words—sometimes more if I have a special order. And these words are non-negotiable. There is no option to cry, “Writer’s block!” Freelancing supports my single-income family and I have to succeed or we’ll be living in a van down by the river, and I don’t think the cats would like that very much. If I’m working on white papers, brochures, PowerPoint presentations or ghostwriting a book, then there are design elements involved, data to analyze and create charts for, outlining, etc. If I’ve got a video script to create, there’s a lot of reading out loud and editing down content for time. I may also have interviews, phone appointments with new clients, proposals and contracts to complete, billing, accounting, on and on and…

After all that, on West Coast time, Evelyn comes out. But sometimes, I’m just too tired or drained to indulge her as much as I’d like. Believe it or not, right now, I’m actually in a waterfront condo that I rented for a few days just to let Evelyn breathe. All my freelance deadlines are met so she can just run and play and think and dream. Oh yeah, and type.

I don’t want to give the wrong impression though. I realize that, sitting in my comfy office chair, under a fat blanket and equally fat kitty, drinking coffee and listening to the sound of music and wooden wind chimes, I’m not exactly suffering under the weight of a really hard job. It’s not that, but it feels like both the freelance and the fiction need the same skill set and often, by evening, that skill set is tapped out.

Your books unabashedly (and rather explicitly) feature people sexin’ it up, and as a fully certified prude I gotta ask: what’s it like writing all that steamy bedroom stuff?

It’s actually a lot like having sex. Sometimes you’re not in the mood so you have to focus on other plot elements, sometimes you want it—so you do it and you do it well, and sometimes you have to do something to get yourself in the mood.

In the days of your blog you made some interesting statements about marketing tools that you’ve found that seem to work really well, but you always played your cards close to your chest. I don’t want to steal trade secrets or anything like that, but is there ANYTHING you can share with the rest of us beleaguered self-pubbers?

The problem with revealing everything you know is that everyone then runs out and tries to replicate what you’ve done, and now your tricks are no longer effective. I’m all for helping people, but I will never understand the compulsion of indies to share all their secrets so they water down what was once an effective marketing or advertising technique.

What I will tell you is:

1. Don’t limit your distributors. There are months that I rock iTunes, and months that Amazon is my big store. Other times Barnes and Noble sells a hefty chunk, then All Romance. You can’t limit the number of places you sell through. Soon, I will also have everything out in paper because that has been limiting my sales.

2. You can’t compare apples to oranges, nor can you expect them to sell the same way. I sell romance—one of the most popular genres for those using e-readers. I also work almost exclusively with series and serials, both of which allow addictive romance readers to stay with the same cozy characters for a very long time.

In my experience, most of us writers have at least one writer we LOVE, but no one else has heard of. Who’s yours? Who makes you want to stand on the rooftops and shout, “HEY! Ya’ll need to be reading this!”

I mostly read mainstream or classic books, so I’m not sure if I actually have a hidden author to expose. One of my favorite funny authors, Marta Acosta, is not as widely read in the genre as I think she should be—so I guess I’ll go with that.

[Evelyn writes the erotic vampire comedic romance series The Vampire Relationship Guide as well as some other stuff. Check it out! (Assuming, you know, that you're into that kind of thing.)]

Author Interview: Miracle Jones

You know how sometimes you see a warning on some product like, “Warning: Contents under pressure” or “Danger: Flammable” and you think to yourself, “Well yeah. It’s an aerosol can full of gasoline.” Similarly an interview with Miracle Jones shouldn’t really need the disclaimer, “These are not my thoughts, and the fact that I am posting them here does not necessarily mean that I agree with or endorse them,” but I’m gonna go ahead and say it anyway.

With that in mind, be sure your head is fastened firmly to the top of your neck, and dive in to the wonderful weirdness of Miracle Jones.

Your writing is peppered with the weird and unusual. Your novels in particular feel like an ongoing game of personal one upmanship when it comes to bizzare concepts and strange ideas. Is this something you consciously try to do, or do you feel it comes naturally from who you are?

All I can say is that I delete more than I produce.

I try not to think about it very much.

Which writers do you admire, and/or which stories have you been inspired by?

I like writers.

I am more inspired by my friends than by writers I don’t know.  Jeanne Thornton, Bill Cheng, Anton Solomonik, Jason Laney, Kevin Carter, Chris Nicholas, Sarah Bridgins, Avi Hartman, the Belomlinsky family.  If you want, I can talk at great length about why these people are amazing.  Most of my ideas come from hanging out with these fine individuals who are always willing to put up with me, always ready to talk about crazy bullshit, always encouraging me to keep “publishing” stories in spite of a weary life of near-constant failure.  I consider myself extraordinarily lucky that I know so many original thinkers who don’t mind my ridiculous ways and restless mind.

When it comes to people I admire, this is a long list, unfortunately.  Spider Robinson. Victor Hugo.  Bill Hicks. Charles Dickens.  Ursula Le Guin.  Alejandro Jodorowsky.  Bruce Lee.  Clive Barker.  Flannery O’Connor.  So many others.  Stephen King.  Kathy Acker.  Also, my Momma, even though we are so different we can barely be said to live on the same planet.  I think she would be proud of me if she had seen the things I have seen, but obviously I cannot download my life experience into her brain, and so there are tensions.  Also, I admire my Dad.  He is a really fucked-up dude but he hides it well and is also one of the least judgmental and most friendly people that I know.  I admire these qualities and have tried to cultivate them.  Also, he can drink me under the table, and all those years of youth I spent smoking weed, watching horror movies, and talking crazy, he was always like:  “hee hee, one day you are gonna be a writer, boy.”

Have you ever written something you felt uncomfortable about posting?

I have written a lot of problematic songs with my very good friend Jason Laney, who is a genius pianist and who shares my innate, Texassy love for the pointlessly controversial.   I have never been sure about how to promote any of these songs, even though I am very proud of them.  We used to sing them at shows, but I feel that they never found their proper audience.

Here is one called “Baby, Let Our Rape Baby Live,” sung by Jason:

http://www.fictioncircus.com/fcbooks/audio/babyletourrapebabylive.mp3

The lyrics to this song actually came to me as a religious experience.  I was walking home from work one day in the middle of a Texas heat wave in Austin, walking by the Austin State Hospital for the mentally ill, and I was praying for a song idea that would make every single person who heard it angry, upset, and confused. I felt touched by God, or maybe the ghosts of all the people who have ever been confined to this lunatic asylum, and the lyrics to this song came to me all at once, effortlessly, like the breath of an angel on the back of my neck.

“Because there’s nothing else I can give to you…and my genes are aces, too!”  The music that Jason wrote is stirring, don’t you think?  We used to print the lyrics to this song out and make people sing it together, as a hymn, at shows.

Here is another one called “Government.”  I made the video for this song while sleeping on Jason’s couch.  Jason is an alarmingly nice man with a lot of patience.  The food that he cooks is also delicious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRQuMULUJi8

Where do you fall on the “Write every day” vs. “Write when you feel like it” debate? Is writing nothing more than craft? Or is there magic involved?

Yes, there is magic involved.

How would you want to be remembered?

I hope one day some kids name some dangerous drug after me and there are magazine articles about how this drug is destroying the nation.  It would also be cool to have my work pirated and turned into evil porn for insane foreigners.

The bio on your blog states that you are a “very private person.” As far as I can tell you’re not active on social media trying to promote your writing, beyond posting new stories on your blog. How do you feel about social media, specifically concept that authors need to push their work?

Does a sunset need a perfect status update to be perfect?  Does an orange dreamsicle need a sexy publicist to be delicious?

Ha, ha. Just kidding. I really don’t know what I am doing and nobody should learn anything about “making it as a writer” from me.  I AM a very private person, though.  Fame is not a good goal in life.  Top-down validation from a global corporate superstructure is not a good prize to fight other people for, people with whom you share common passions and experiences.  Better to have symbolic tokens from the revolutions in which you have participated.

However, I can always be found once a month at Kevin Carter’s fantastic NYC show “Derangement of the Senses” at the Happy Ending Lounge in Chinatown (third Friday of every month, 7:30 PM).  It is the best literary reading in the United States, as far as I’m concerned.  There is nothing complicated about it: there is a poet, a fiction writer, a storyteller, a musical act, and some burlesque.  Everyone has a good time.  The motto is: “The purpose of literature is to fuck you up!”  I don’t think you can call yourself part of the literary underground and not be into this show right now, just like I don’t think you can be part of the literary underground and not be reading every book published by Lisa Marie Basile’s “Patasola Press” and O/R Books.

Do you think the internet has changed the way literature will be perceived in the future? If so, how?

The internet is basically just a precursor to actual telepathy.  When that happens…yes, I will colonize your mind fairly fast thanks to the aggressive imagination I have cultivated from reading and writing books.  A smart populace would be killing off all writers right now, because one day we will be far too powerful.  All those religions that people love were invented by writers, and in the future we will find new ways to make people our thralls so that we can live like corrupt sorceror-gods.

Ha, ha, just kidding!  THE INTERNET IS CRAYZEE!  HOW WE WILL DEAL WITH IT?  (hand-wringing)

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Unemployed?  I hate working.  It does not build character.  It is wrong and stupid, unless you are a doctor or a teacher.  Every day, I try to become a better criminal.

It would also be cool to be the captain of a starship.

What obscure author do you wish more people knew about? Someone who makes you want to scream a passing pedestrians, “Hey, this person is awesome, why aren’t you reading his stuff?”

Jeanne Thornton is thrilling at words and will be remembered for all times, most likely.  Also, she is a good person in-real-life and you would like her.  She has a novel coming out this year that you will read and love.  It is called “The Dream of Dr. Bantam.”  Google this title every day until it pops up in your face for sale, like a toaster pastry in a commercial where the children have gel in their hair.

I have actually screamed this at passing pedestrians while trying to sell her stuff on the streets before, so this is an honest answer to your question.  Also, I think everyone should be listening to the music of Steve Schecter (AKA “Ghostwriter”), reading the poetry of Corrina Bain and Sarah Bridgins, hearing the stories of Peter Aguero, and reading the comics of Anton Solomonik.

If you could give one piece of writing advice to the struggling writers out there, what would it be?

I thought I was a struggling writer?

I guess my advice would be that it never gets any better, but one day you will realize that you are made of granite whereas most people who do not read or write are very brittle — like carmelized sugar — and so you must be emotionally careful, especially with people who are “doing better than you,” financially, professionally, or socially.  Being a struggling writer is like being a struggling assassin: you can’t really complain that nobody wants you to make it.  I wouldn’t even tell people that you are a writer, unless there is some really good reason, like you are trying to make them feel better about breaking up with you.

***

I want to thank Miracle Jones for taking the time to share some of his crazy genius here. I recommend that you check out his wonderful novels Sharing and Shifting as well as his insane short story blog, This Rocketship Will Crash. (And when I say insane, I’m not speaking euphemistically.)