Search Term Bingo: Round 3(ish)

I was feelin’ kinda down about what I wanted to post about today, so I’ve decided to change it up a bit. Instead of a depressing and introspective look at how the world has changed for writers spun off of the story about Steph Swainston deciding to quite the high pressure job of being a writer and turning to teaching of all things (not that I’m against teaching, but I don’t think you’re going to find it to be a low stress alternative to anything) I’m gonna dip into the search term stack and do another fun and exciting round of Search Term Bingo!

the lexicographer’s dilemma jack lynch,is it any book?

You caught me. It turns out that The Lexicographer’s Dilemma is, much like the NASA moon landing, the death of Elvis Presley and the so-called “Civil War” was nothing more than a hoax perpetrated by the internet itself. Pay no attention to my review of said book. Ignore the Amazon page that lists it. And if you should happen to see it on the shelves of your book store…then you will know that you have finally and truly gone insane. Please consult you psychiatrist.

baby book reviews

I can see where you’re coming from with this. Frankly parents today just can’t know what they’re getting into when they pick up a cardboard book with pictures in it. They don’t have the time to leaf through fifteen whole pages of The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar or Where the Wild Things Are to determine if their offspring is being presented with wholesome and compelling fiction. That is why I’m introducing a new segment of this blog where I will review baby books based on the deep questions of story, character, and how well the pages of the book hold up against saliva and tiny teeth.

free download a prairie home apocalypse or: what the dog … by albert berg

Really? I mean really? I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about people  trying to steal my work until I got to the big time. I guess I thought wrong. And if the book pirates come for me? Ladies and gentlemen, I do not want to sound melodramatic here, but I could stand to loss tens of dollars per quarter. The threat of book piracy is very real my friends. Very real indeed.

the name of the professor of bleach?

Dang, man, I didn’t even know they had classes. I’ve just been mixing it with water and adding it to my whites loads. Are you saying you can actually get a degree in that stuff? Then again, maybe I shouldn’t be so skeptical. “Albert Berg, Professor of Bleach” does have a nice ring to it.

normalcy harry potter fanfiction

Yeah, man, yeah. That’s what I’m talking about. It’s like, Harry Potter is this guy, but…get this, he’s not a wizard. And he doesn’t have any powers. And like…he works at a grocery story where nothing ever happens. And then…oh you’re gonna love this, one day he gets into an argument with a customer and he gets called into the office and, okay we’re getting into extreme territory here, but bear with me, what if he gets reprimanded? And then he has to be nice to people because he’s afraid of losing his job. Man, what was J. K. Rowling thinking? This is where it’s at. That’s some serious narrative tension right there.

what does the song the song “the sow took the measles” mean

To really understand The Sow Took the Measles, you must first grasp the early deconstructionist elements present in the mind of the American pioneer. This is not simple a song about the loss of a pig and the ways in which the remnants of the pig are remade into various and sundry useful items, but rather it is a deep metaphor for the loss of the sense of safety the pioneers embraced and the new sense of self they were able to forge from the ashes of their own past.

And that’s about all I think we can stand of that. Incidentally if you were looking for a depressing post about how the world of writing and publishing has changed, check out Chuck Wendig’s blog for today. Because, man, he really know how to get you down.

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6 responses to “Search Term Bingo: Round 3(ish)

  1. Psssh. That post isn’t bad news. It is, in many ways, good news. It’s just *hard to hear* good news, I think.

    — c.

  2. Here’s a weird one from my blog: “fat hald tubes mayo 2011″ I had to google “hald”- it isn’t listed at dictionary.com. Apparently, “hald ” is a daemon. *shudder* The End is near.

    A related question: Is bleach effective at getting out mayo and other End-of-World stains? TY

  3. Haha!! That’s funny stuff. Especially the baby book reviews and ‘is it even book?’ lol.
    Oh, and congrats on your very own pirate.

  4. Oh man! I totally needed a laugh tonite. Thank you!!!

  5. Harry Potter lol! I think that Harry Potter one’s you. :-)

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